REALLY Bad Day!

And "don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. ~ Ephesians 4:26-27

Yesterday I had a horrible, rotten, no good, very bad day! After a wonderful service at Flamingo Road Church, Kevin began to feel sick again... About noon, he began to vomit and have the dreaded diarrhea again. I was sure he would end up in the hospital again. He had some pain.. but not the level of last week when he was hospitalized. But I was bracing myself for it.

Now I just posted about the remodel mess... so ya know my house was a wreck which was in turn making me a wreck. Dust was everywhere.. not your normal dust... MAJOR big time, have to dust the house and mop the floor 5 times just to BEGIN to get it clean, DUST! Kevin was sick again... and now on top of the messy house, I was worried about him AND I was once again saddled with all of my responsibilities AND his too! And then he tells me....
HE STOPPED TAKING HIS ANTIBIOTICS!
He was supposed to have finished them this past Sunday... but he stopped on TUESDAY! I had even asked him Friday was he due to finish on Sunday? Did he tell me then that he had stopped? NOPE! Silly me I probably worded the question wrong and he answered the question leaving out the fact that he might have been due to finish them but he had stopped early. (I asked him if he minded me sharing this all with you and he said he didn't but he wanted me to include that he stopped taking them because they were making his stomach do flip-flops and giving him diarrhea.) Now I understand antibiotics are just no fun... but to STOP? Oh my!

Lets just say I was FUMING MAD at him! But I couldn't let that out because I was worried about him and I KNEW he felt awful! And the fact that I couldn't let it out was just driving me crazy and the more I cleaned, the angrier I got. When I had to walk the dogs (usually his job) in the afternoon, I was royally PISSED OFF! I know, not good, but if I'm going to be authentic its the TOTAL TRUTH!

I gathered myself together enough to head over to my neighbor's house just as I felt sure I was going to loose it and scream and yell at Kevin and Amanda. I sat with my neighbor for a while. She is such a wise woman and much farther along in her walk with God than I am. She said something to me... She thought that the reason Kevin and I were going through all these rough times lately was because we were getting "too close" to Jesus and the enemy was throwing everything he had at us trying to make us loose focus. When she said it, I knew she was right but in that moment I couldn't immediately take it in and use it. I had prayed throughout the day to get through it all. And she prayed with me too. Our talk and prayers and a little love from her cat Dodger, helped me get through that hour... I came home with renewed energy... got back to cleaning the house... Oh I was still angry... but I was at least not going to explode.

Later in the evening I processed it all... this calm hit me.... and I started laughing. And I got this feeling inside myself, it was defiance and anger and happiness all rolled into one. Perhaps she was right.. maybe it was the enemy fighting hard to distract me. I tossed my head in the air and said "bring it on, you are not going to get me" and then I thanked Jesus for helping me through it... I pictured God talking to Satan, saying "you can throw whatever you will at Tami... For she is mine, I have faith in her and I am well pleased." MAN that thought made me feel AWESOME!

You know the thing I realize... since I have begun living my life walking with God.. bad things do still happen... I get mad, sad, frustrated just like I used to... those reactions haven't stopped... but you know what? Before knowing God... those reactions to negative situations consumed me... much like they did in that hour when I spoke to my neighbor... but instead of eating at me for an hour or so they consumed me ALL DAY! Sometimes even still the NEXT DAY! Now it still gets to me... but it passes so FAST... and my anger, frustration or sadness is replaced with this amazing sense of peace and serenity!

MAN GOD IS GOOD!

"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace." ~ Anonymous