A Prayer for a Lost Hamster

This morning I DID NOT want to get out of bed. I caught my daughter's cold and feel pretty rotten. I was still snuggled in bed calling out the morning routine to my, so not a morning person, daughter... you know the drill... "eat breakfast, get dressed, brush your teeth..."

And then I heard it...
JOLT me out of bed, TOTALLY frantic, tear the house apart news.... "Mom, Misty is missing." Misty is my daughter's beloved hamster. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, not TODAY!
My husband was already at work, so it was up to me and Amanda to find Misty and return her to her hamster palace. Just the 2 of us... or so I thought! The plan was my daughter would look in her room and I would look in mine. She started off... I couldn't focus. I walked in circles, totally overwhelmed. We are still remodeling... hamster hiding spaces EVERYWHERE! I froze... my daughter was screaming and certain that our Labrador Hershey had eaten Misty.... I must admit I was thinking so to...

Then I remembered.... WAIT... PRAY.... Give this to God... ask for His help... HE KNOWS where Misty is! So I clasped my hands together and prayed. Now it wasn't my best... most beautiful prayer... it was scattered.... went something like this....

God, Please help us find Misty... Show us where she is... let her move and us hear a noise or see a shift in something.... let her come to our voices... help us find her. Amen

Not very eloquent I know...
But there I was... sitting reflecting on my prayer, waiting to see something or feel a nudge to head in a specific direction. No more than 5 seconds had passed, Amanda tearily called out "I found her!" I cried out "Thank YOU God!" and ran to my daughter's room... She was holding Misty and sobbing... said she was looking on one side of her closet and saw Misty trying to climb up a stack of boardgames to get to her. Misty was actually heading towards Amanda, towards the noise, towards items being shoved around! OH MY GOSH! I told her about my prayer and then together.... Misty in hand... we thanked God for His help.

Giving things to God and going to Him FIRST with problems is one of the most difficult battles I fight. Just a few weeks ago, I was in a difficult confusing place and I prayed... but I didn't do it with the heart KNOWING He would answer me... Even though I doubted God... He gave the people around me the words I needed to hear and still guided me to an answer. Through that difficult time He was at work changing me. I could feel it... feel Him opening me up... growing me. Even though I feel so much stronger now in my faith, this morning still took me by surprise... It was pretty surreal... as I prayed it was like I left my body... I was watching myself pray... and saying to myself... WOW... that's different... trouble strikes... within minutes I'm in prayer... pinch me.... cause I must be dreaming here! Praying this morning... I had so much faith that God would answer my prayer... I was SO SURE...

Now, while my body is weak and sick, my soul is SOARING! God not only answered my prayer to find a missing hamster, this morning he showed me he has answered prayers prayed for a long time... prayers for for clarity and stronger faith, to feel closer to Him, for tranquility and peace within myself.... GOD answered all of my prayers.... in HIS time.... and used my daughter's missing hamster to reveal it to me. How AWESOME is that?

The Ballerina & The Bulldog

I was at my mother’s recently and saw this picture hanging on her wall… a ballerina and a bulldog.

I say “aw that’s cute mom”

She says “I got that because it reminds me of you.”

I laugh and say “which one… the ballerina or the bulldog?”

She gives me a quirky look and says “the ballerina of course… because you did ballet when you were a little girl.”

I told her it was kinda funny that she selected that picture because of me… the ballerina me… because my husband sometimes calls me a “bulldog.”

Later that night, on the way home, that picture on my mother’s wall kept nudging at me…. I thought about how funny it was that unbeknownst to her… she had…. In selecting that one picture… nailed 2 distinct parts of who I am.

Tami the Ballerina - dances through life in her frilly girly way…. Loves all things pink and pretty (like tutus)…. Wants everything to be just so (like the perfectly coifed buns a ballerina twists her hair into)…. Has a need for balance (like when up on her tippy tippy toes dancing)….. Is kinda hard on herself always expecting perfection (like when honing a new dancing skill).

Tami the Bulldog - bites into something and won’t let go (this is why my hubby calls me a bulldog… I can be a little headstrong and refuse to let go until I‘ve gotten to the end.. Of whatever it is that has my attention at the moment)…. Aggressive (think snarling and drooly)…not always the first picked or most favored of all (like in the pet store when that cute lab puppy gets a home before the bulldog)…. Loyal (like that bulldog puppy fiercely protecting and defending it’s owners)… awkward (a little clumsy, stumbling through and often times falling all over themselves).

A friend of mine is always telling me when stuff like this happens she thinks it is God teaching her something… and so she searches for the lesson… I just couldn’t get the picture out of my head and I didn’t know why… why it felt significant…. why it felt as thought there was something I should have learned from seeing that picture. Like my friend, I began to search for the lesson… tried to let go mentally and fully tune into God and be open to what He was trying to show me… and then this thought popped into my head about how odd it is that I have these 2 drastically different pieces of myself… yet at the same time they each represent who I am deep down at the heart of it all.

I realized or LEARNED that it’s no accident… ballerina and bulldog… God made me this way for a reason…. in that moment… as I had those thoughts pop into my head so quickly… once I opened myself up to the possibility that God was actually trying to show me something…. It seemed so clear to me that there were things for me to do for God… Tami, the ballerina bulldog mix has work to do for GOD…. And that work can only be accomplished by God and ballerina bulldog mix me! My 2 distinct seemingly contradictory sides were perfectly matched for a purpose by God… I don’t know what that purpose is yet…. Maybe I have already fulfilled some of it…. But I know… God… if I keep listening… will lead me to that purpose.